I will follow you

Yesterday, at my group, they read a lecture that had something i needed to keep going, it said that its ok not to let go inmidiatly, everyone has his own process and when the moment is right i will feel the power and the strenght to let go.

It fitted to me so well, cause i was making pressure on myself to let go that girl that in matter of weeks she become the one, that one that i was looking for, and when i felt defeated, God made our roads to join.

Its sad to feel this way, everything i have learned to let go a relationship doesnt work now, why is that, mmmm, im getting to the conclusion that im different now (she told me that and made me feel very good), im another person, i cant fool myself anymore, and that is awsome, the only problem is that if anything that i have learned works, then im facing something new, and i have to learn again how to deal with it, its hard, but step by step im making it to happend.

I still have some hope in us, that in the future we will come together again, to have a healthy relation and to be happy, maybe thats a dream, but keeps me warm in bed and help me not to entirely crash and go in crisis.

For all this i decided to dedicated myself a song (the one that is playing now), jeje, thats new for me but it feels awsome!!!

I will follow you - Alberto Plaza

Dont ask me for more than i can give

everyone has its greater yearning

dont remove the liberty wings

cause i has began to reach its flight

Dont ask me for more than i can give

i have the joyness and the sadness by a hand

they join me and help me to sing

thats why both sits on my table

I cant be perfect

i have thousands of defects

i have tears

and i have heart.

If u ask me to be better

my failures and my mistakes

give me time

to see if i can go.

And i will follow you

wherever u will go

and i will stay

by your side.

Dont ask me for more than i can give

im what u see im anything else that live

that had choosen my body to rest

and will keep going some of this days.

I rather to show myself just like i am

with all my doubts and contradictions

i dont want to make a lie

to have u with me, to be with you.

I cant be perfect

i have thousands of defects

i have tears

and i have heart.

If u ask me to be better

my failures and my mistakes

give me time

to see if i can go.

And i will follow you

wherever u will go

and i will stay

by your side.

Just i thing im going to ask you

dont take too seriouly my melancholy

some days is easier to smile

but this one isnt one of that days.

And i will follow you

wherever u will go

and i will stay

by your side.

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last thing for now

i did this song that u r listen to (Unknow Mix). my intention was to recompile all my feelings in a certain moment and make it live with music. its for a person, she knows who she is.

i made a conclusion, this is the last thing i will do thinking on her for a while, why is that, cause i need to focus on myself, work around with my personality, my fears, my problems, a lot of things, so my intention is that this mix keeps alive something that is barely breathing, it was made with love.

remember, its my feelings what the artists are singing, maybe i did not want a few words, but it sounds ok.

for u with all my love

Knowing myself a little more

I underestimated myself, now i realize that, yes, that moments were important to me, and i wanted to share it...

Now, there is nothing left to do, 3 big deals to me and i cant share them, maybe its a light from God, i have to live the 3th one alone (it havent came), i will leave it in a MAYBE, cause i want it to be shared.

I always claimed myself to be a lonely person, to need no one, and now i realize the emptyness inside myself, and i have to deal with it, i cant depend on other persons, specially you, i just wonder when is it gonna end!!! im sick and tired of myself!!!

i feel like u r too much for me, that i cant keep at ur step, you are so much grown, and im just a little boy that is starting and learning how to live, how to love, how to share, how to be in peace. i feel so infirior, and, as always with my stupid questions, am i good for u? can i make u happy?

i dont feel well, im frighten and intimidated, i feel that i cant keep up, but i feel too that i cant give up.

Brain take off

it has been a very difficult week, i had a very diversity of emotions, sometimes more than 5 in a day. i have tried to manage it, sometimes succesful, other times defeated...

i realizing that i cant do it alone, i need help from somewhere, and i think that somewhere is God, im not a religious person, but for me, God had always been there, the thing that is changing is that now im asking him for help.

i have a lot of insecurities to deal with, im exahusted from fighting myself, my brain just wanna take a day off from himself, not to think, thats the deal, just live every moment, theres no past and theres no future, only right now. jeje, thats a think that im trying to do.

hard hard hard is the word of the month for me, i dont wanna lose u, and i dont wanna lose myself either, im afraid here, i dont know what to do, what to think, what to feel, its just like gambling, no one knows (specially me) what is gonna happend.

be myself!!!! jeje, if i could only find him....